She Could Really Care Less!

02/06/2014 by

She Could Really Care Less

By Jas Chyrel


Well, it’s come to that point where this subject needs to be recognized. Whether one may notice it or not, women (predominantly black) are on the verge of losing each other. From the distressing reality shows and TV dramas to the social statuses seen on the internet, it’s evident we just can’t get it together. Who’s to blame these networks for filming women in the utmost disrespectful manners or the internet which gains much exposure on girl fights, sex tactics and condescending roles? The answer is the women, especially the black woman! If it isn’t men letting women down, it’s almost definitely another woman.


Now there are groups of wise women among us that want to better themselves and their sisterhoods, a rare finding that should be uplifted more often. Then there are the many groups of women who find it hard to acknowledge another woman’s presence, for what reasons we are about to find out. Is there something wrong with us individually or has another woman left us scorned to sisterly friendships?


Last year, we conducted a survey to 100 women in efforts to find out what’s the big problem with black women supporting each other. By support, we don’t mean the messy, degrading, ignorant attention that some tend to acknowledge now more than ever. Although this survey was local, woman of all ages, backgrounds, occupations and social statuses took the time to help us get to the point of why we’re walking backwards and not forward together and for ourselves to create a divine and honorable sisterhood. The “Woman Up” survey proved that we have much work to do but where do we start? What do we do about it? How will that precious baby girl that was born today be seen years from now? As the survey was only a test to define our womanly truths, the reality lies within every woman to where the question is raised:



~ What would you say is the #1 clash in sisterhood?

 Survey says: JEALOUSY

When it comes to the man, lifestyle, job opportunity and success, do black women really have a hard time accepting what another woman has? 69% of our surveyors chose jealousy as the biggest problem with creating true bonds with other women. Besides the envious attitudes, most agreed that ignorance, non-communication and men were definite reasons why the gaps between sisterhood is more spaced out than ever.


~ Black women are more prone to what a man likes about her versus what she likes about herself, agree or disagree?

Survey says: AGREE

As much is it is a good thing to want to please your man, how far do women go to fulfill this obstacle. From media perception, men are attracted to women who think like a man. If a woman can’t be satisfied in her proud,

self-dignified and uplifting ways, she sure won’t be too fond about another woman who is leading the path to love herself first. Thus, she is not driven by women to look good, act right or be an ideal woman of happiness. 82% of surveyors agreed that this concept is visually true.


~ Do you agree that media (news, music, television and social media) play a major role in the division of black women?

Survey says: AGREE

It’s obvious what the media can do to someone’s mind and that’s one word, “brainwash.” It even seems that with music and television, women are falling into the resemblance that is so absentmindedly seen and heard. The great divide comes into play when one woman is for it and one woman is against it, separating them standing together through the midst of it all. 65% agreed that the media plays a part in what keeps us further apart. Whatever happened to agree to disagree and still being there for each other.


~ Why do some women stray away from being friends with other women?

Survey says: Other women talk too much. Some women are too judgmental and the fact that they don’t look alike or fit together.

The answers from the survey were more than a mile long to the point where there was no leading reply. There were even 20 separate, opinionated responses that answered this question. This is where the problem lies. Women worry about so much when it comes to another woman that it completely keeps them from wanting to even create the smallest association. If she is too dramatic, too needy, too talkative, too shallow, too different, too skinny, too big, too sophisticated, too educated, too oblivious, then it’s a problem. Although it wasn’t an option or opinion, the best answer for this question is that another woman has a hard time accepting the next woman for who she really is.



~ Women of power: How do most women see a successful sister?

Survey says: They are proud but jealous at the same time.

Looks like we’re back on the #1 clash of sisterhood: Jealousy. 48% agreed that the envious factor is the viewpoint toward a successful woman. Remember how proud women were just to see another black woman succeed? So much that we are able to remember those fore leaders today. Today, women applaud what they see as a moving triumph but hide behind what they really feel. Have you ever seen a woman support another woman and then suddenly stop? It happens everyday. 9% said misery loves company. But wait! 17% said they are proud and look to connect and another 17% said they are proud and want the same for themselves. Maybe those women are successful too.